Review: Ten Ton Slug – Brutal Gluttonous Beast EP

I don’t normally do album reviews. I generally don’t really care for them (or reviewers much) as, well, it’s just an opinion. So when I got asked to put my keyboard to use along with my earholes for Ten Ton Slug’s new offering, I was slightly dubious.

Personally, I like to keep things short, sweet and to the point. I would advise at this point, you don’t read this review at work, as your HR director may have a momentary seizure with what I’m about to say.

ten-ton-slug-brutal-gluttonous-beastAfter what can only be described as one of the highlights of 2016’s Bloodstock Festival, Ten Ton Slug dominated the New Blood Stage this past summer, and while I didn’t get a chance to catch them, after listening to this, I can certainly understand why.

If you like growly vocals and riffs so heavy they’ll melt your face off, then this EP is for you.

Opening up with “Trollhunter”, Ten Ton Slug offer up a lesson in how metal is progressing on the other side of the Irish Sea and are probably one of the best new bands I’ve heard in the last five years.

What surprises me about this band, is their consistency. From start to finish, this EP (which is only an EP due to the number of tracks, not quality – that’s for damn sure) is phenomenal. “Bloodburns” continues the EP at a blistering, yet sludgy, pace and at this point I have to say; if you don’t buy this EP, you’re a c*nt. But hey, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong…

This is what I’ve been missing from my collection for a long time. I’m old, so when I say a long time, I mean a really fucking long time. This takes me back to the early days of British (and probably Irish) doom/sludge metal. Imagine if Paradise Lost and My Dying Bride skullf*cked each other and the resulting ooze permeated into the body of a radioactive arthropod. That’s what you get here. Ten Ton Slug aren’t f**king around with this…

“Subterranean” and “Unit” wrap up what is an exceptional 30-40 mins of exactly what I needed on a cold Friday morning. I would advise that, on those mornings when you can’t really be arsed to go to work, and you see that leftover smoke in the ashtray, don’t put this on. You won’t leave the house.

This EP is going right to the top of my playlist. 10/10

Track listing:

  1. Trollhunter
  2. Bloodburns
  3. Subterranean
  4. Unit

Ten Ton Slug: facebook | bandcamp

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